it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
