I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
