Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
