Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
