you guys were way drunker than both of me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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