do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
