Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
