Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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