you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize