bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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