i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice