I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.