i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.