apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all