Is it normal to miss your booty call?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book