I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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