Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.