Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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(815): View more from Illinois

Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest

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(330): View more from Ohio

I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station

(1-773): View more from Illinois

I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.

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