Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.

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  (301): She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle. http://tfl.nu/0dzx
  Replies (32) Good night (894) Bad night (4231)
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  (707): View more from California

  It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.

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  (707): It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling. http://tfl.nu/12gk
  Replies (9) Good night (739) Bad night (3825)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.

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  (865): that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is. http://tfl.nu/8h8l
  Replies (41) Good night (1299) Bad night (5897)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (781) Bad night (5313)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh

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  (248): I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh http://tfl.nu/l3fg
  Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (3623)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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  (402): He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart. http://tfl.nu/f1o2
  Replies (5) Good night (2466) Bad night (1107)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

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  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3195) Bad night (959)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND

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  (352): I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND http://tfl.nu/oakz
  Replies (32) Good night (1805) Bad night (3606)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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  (772): Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible. http://tfl.nu/t50d
  Replies (10) Good night (1892) Bad night (1157)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?

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  (604): True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame? http://tfl.nu/gz7a
  Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (1052)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties

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  (203): i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies (1-203): you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties http://tfl.nu/44vj
  Replies (5) Good night (1556) Bad night (520)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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  (719): I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room. http://tfl.nu/d9w2
  Replies (6) Good night (1922) Bad night (460)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

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  (902): We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club (902): The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists http://tfl.nu/vl5e
  Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (412)
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  (209): View more from California

  I can't put those talents on a resume

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  (209): I can't put those talents on a resume http://tfl.nu/4txi
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?

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  (757): pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home? http://tfl.nu/p4vi
  Replies (2) Good night (1472) Bad night (504)

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