Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.