The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
