the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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