Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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