Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize