she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
