so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
