i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
