I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
