i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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