girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
