I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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