Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
