So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
