just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
