At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Alive.
So much puke
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
