you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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