i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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