She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
