if you like me you must not know who I am
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
