the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Randomize
