her vagine was all disorganized.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
