Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
