He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
