??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
