i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sext me about skeletons
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
