What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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