i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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