But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
