come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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