Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i drank out of a bidet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize