I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
