The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
