FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
