obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
