I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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