She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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