If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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