i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
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