I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
