well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
