roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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