haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
