I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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