I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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