your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got chris browned last night
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
why do cheetos always look like penises
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
