while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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