I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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