i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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