I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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